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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


House arrest...

That's what it felt like when I was at my grandfather's house. I kept waiting and waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.

I don't drive - I don't have a driver's license. My grandfather lives in the boondocks. Hence, I was dependent upon others to allow me to actually leave his house. I did go for a couple of walks with my aunt - but I kept feeling too anxious to go out on my own for fear of missing something - or for fear of appearing disinterested in being around family.

But I was going stir crazy! And my two big attempts at being able to go someplace were thwarted. When we arrived, my mom, my aunt, and I (who all flew into the airport at about the same time, and took a rental car to my grandfather's), were to stop for food on the way to grandpa's. I was looking forward to this so I could get some food I could eat (I'm a vegetarian, and I prefer to not eat dairy (I'm somewhat allergic) - and given that my diet is still influenced by being recently gallbladder-less, I also need to stick to a very low fat diet). But, on our way there, we got call from my uncle to meet them at someone else's house (they were having a surprise party for my grandfather) as they had "plenty of food." Argh.

We went, I ate raw vegetables, and was starving.

We went to my grandfather's house, and some other family members had stopped for pizza -- it was good pizza, but it made me ill from all the cheese ( I couldn't eat the veggie because I am still afraid to eat mushrooms). Sadly, I had to live on that pizza for days as my grandfather literally had nothing else I could eat in the house.

The next morning, everyone wanted to go out for breakfast - I mentioned to my mom that I had forgotten my toothbrush (which I had, but I also desperately wanted to be taken to the grocery store). My grandfather piped up that he had extras (brand new ones). Argh!

That night, we went out for dinner. There was one vegetarian thing on the menu, and it was mushroom based. It made me ill.

The next day, I had to drink milk with my cereal, which made me very unhappy. I asked if at some point we could stop somewhere for postcards (please oh please!). My grandfather said he had some (oh for the love of god! I just want to get out of the fricking house!). It was fun looking through his postcards, but he had none for where we actually were.

We went out for dinner again - and the relatives in the other car stopped at a grocery store on the way home. How did I end up in the wrong car!?

I was also hurting because all my grandfather had was instant coffee -- which is disgusting.

Literally all we did was sit around and talk (and my grandfather asked me at least once a day when he could call me "doctor" and I kept saying, "Oh not for 300 years!" because I didn't want to tell anyone yet, and I didn't want to even think about having been kicked out during this trip - it was excruciating!!!), or sit and watch my grandfather, or sit and listen to him say the same narcissistic thing for the 3000th time. When I could, I would read - but that seemed awfully antisocial. So, I just sat in the living room, the extremely dusty and claustrophobic living room, and be bored and overwhelmed out of my skull. I became so tired of talking to people, of listening, of pretending to listen, of pretending to care... I'm not that sociable!

To make it all worse, I had really wanted to get together with Lucy of pigpuppet fame - but I forgot my cell phone, had no internet access, and just kept thinking every day that it would be rude for me to leave, and that SURELY TODAY WE WOULD DO SOMETHING!

Did I forget to mention it was excruciating?

I got home very late saturday night. The next day, I was just so thrilled to be back in control of my life! I could eat what I wanted, I could drink good coffee, I could leave my house, and go places and do things, I could check email!

I can't believe I have to leave to go to my mother's house in a few days. I don't want to go. Partly because I missed stinkerbelle so much, and she is just starting to calm down and realize I am really home again.

Here's a gem from my grandfather. We were talking about the iraq war - and something came up about the insurgents, and he said, "Those people just don't value human life." Yeah, okay grandpa. Sure. And I won't even tell you how many times he criticized people's weight.


At 11:12 PM, Blogger Lucy said...

I would have gone INSANE! I'm sorry you were trapped; I wish I could've rescued you. Enjoy your few days of freedom, at least.

At 9:56 AM, Blogger Ianqui said...

Oh man, this sounds terrible. It would have been Super G's nightmare too, since he's also got a problem with teh milk (and we're vegetarians).

At 10:50 AM, Blogger Limon de Campo said...

Oh, this sounds awful. You have more stamina than I do; I think I would've faked an illness so I didn't have to go. I hope you have some relaxation time before you have to travel again.

At 5:33 PM, Anonymous ppb said...

oh my gosh, you're describing my vacations home! Except for the food stuff. I just want to go anywhere--anywhere at all, on. my. own!

At 11:10 PM, Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

What a nightmare-- I'm sorry. Your Grandfather sounds a lot like mine, except mine is into health food and would love to have a vegetarian around to cook for and to give wheat germ and stuff... And depending on the season he's in a small town in Iowa or a retirement community in Florida, so there are places within walking distance.

One way or the other, welcome home!


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