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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


I'm feeling like I'm being a bitch...

I do seriously love the litle job I have right now. The people are absolutely the nicest ever, and I like working. However, the specifics of everything are so fuzzy as to drive me insane.

My last day worked was Sunday (technically, monday morning). My supervisor told me to take a couple days off and then we would start work on another project. On Tuesday I emailed him to find out when I should come in the next day. He said he didn't need me yet, and would contact me when he did.

On the one hand, such flexibility is nice - on the other, I cannot plan for anything. I know that at some point he will contact me and ask me to come in either that same day, or the next.

More than that, it concerns me that I cannot plan financially. I have no idea how much I will be working, at all, and thus have no idea how much money I will be bringing in a month.

On top of that, and of most concern right now, I still have no idea *when* I will get paid. So, since I've nothing to do given that I'm not working, I have been getting more and more anxious about this. Most important to me is just finding out WHEN so I can plan accordingly. I have a finite amount of money left, and I want to know how long I need to stretch it.

I have been asking my supervisor, the HR person, and payroll for a date. Everyone has been really nice, and they are trying, but I am getting no specifics only, "we're working on it."

[oh my god, Anna Nicole Smith collapsed and died - do you think it is because of Trimspa?]

I just need dates - even something like, "If X works, you'll get paid friday, if not, then next friday. Worst case is X date." That would help - but vague, "we're working on it" is driving me insane. I have too much up in the air in general (when I'm working, how many hours, when I'm getting paid - and how much that paycheck will be -- not to mention all the applications I have out on which I am waiting) that it is far too much ambiguity for any one person to handle, I think.

And I fear that my attempts at getting information on my paycheck are bitchy, or are perceived as such. I don't mean to be - and I am so careful about how I am phrasing things. But I do think that one clear reward of working is some sort of predictable pay check. You work because you know you are getting paid. So, I kind of feel like it is my right to know this and to follow-up on it. Yet, they are all so nice, I feel guilty for continuing to harp.

At the same time, I also need to know because I am not working. Thus, I have lots of unstructured time. Despite my attempts to keep applying for jobs and my attempts at keeping busy with projects (I felted a bunch of sweaters yesterday, made a hat from one, and also cleaned out one of my closets), I am getting depressed.

It sucks knowing that the job I really wanted has been re-posted. I am apparently such a bad match, they'd rather do without and try all over again (I did contact my contact there, but have not heard back). I think I've applied for 8 jobs now. I hate that some of them say that you will only be contacted if you meet minimum requirements (the implication being that if you don't, you won't even be notified of that). So much is up in the air. And all of it is making me feel hopeless. Plus, I am damned sick of rice and beans (another reason I want to know when I'll be paid!).

This is the hat I made. Mine is dark charcoal grey, and has no contrasting stitches. Instead, it has straps like the next hat, and I may make a pom-pom for it like the red hat below. Alternatively (or perhaps in addition), I am making little flowers out of the same dark charcoal material that I will stitch all along the front (like a little headband of matching flowers). Cuz right now, it is a little boring looking (but it is super soft and warm). My next task is to make some mittens (I'm going to put a pocket in them to store my train pass in).


At 6:51 PM, Blogger Anastasia said...

that was totally my first thought: trimspa, baby.

At 4:16 PM, Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Asking for your pay information isn't bitchy. I'd be straight forward and say ' I have bills to pay and need to know when my money should be here and how it is going to come to me.'

If they give you the 'we're working on it', ask what is holding up the process.

You've worked for the money, finding out when it will come is reasonable.

At 4:45 PM, Blogger Lucy said...

If it's taking them a really long time, they should be able to get you some kind of advance or something, so that you don't starve while they're sorting out admin issues.


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