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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Can you guess?

Here's one topic of discussion in my class today - can you guess what class I am teaching?

One of the most up- and- coming plastic surgeries in the US is vaginal plastic surgery (labiaplasty? vaginal enhancement?). Women believe that their labias are "too big" and have them reduced or that their vaginal openings are "too loose" and get them tightened. One student also brought up the fact that anal bleaching is also on the rise (I still don't totally understand that one).

Any guesses as to what I teach?

My two elevator students were not in class today ... hmmm.... I'm hoping they were too ashamed to come. It may well be they were just too lazy to come. The class they went to is in the room right by my office. I listened a little to the person teaching it (I think it is a grad student) and it sounded like she was just reading from her notes .. and she horrifically mispronounced some words. It's sad what makes me feel better about myself.

Did you guess the class? Because here is a story about one of my students, but I want to make sure you guessed already.

One student today told all of us in class something that is one of those things that makes you love a student - in the way you fall in love with the most scroungy little socially awkward puppy at the pound.

So, she told us in class today that she used to know a guy who thought she was sooooo beautiful that he couldn't even function around her - he was so intimidated by her beauty. In fact, he told her he had to drink heavily before seeing her because her beauty made him that anxious.

As she said this, you could see everyone in class craning to see what she looked like. Once they saw her, you could hear them turn to each other to make fun of her.

Poor little scroungy socially awkward puppy. She's my new pet.

Speaking (sorry, stinkerbelle hit the "publish" button before I was ready), there are two animal things that has be super duper distressed.

First, one of my neighbors (lives in my building) posted a sign on our front door that she is catsitting and the cat got out and is missing (how this occurred, I have no idea). This is one of my worst nightmares. First, I am terrified that the building will catch on fire, the fire fighters will chop my door down, stinkerbelle will escape out my apartment and out the building, and will be so terrified, I'll never see her again. The other scenario involves my landlord coming to fix something and her accidentally getting out - and maybe finding a way to get outside through a hole in the basement, never to be seen again. I then have a horrible ability to imagine exactly how terrified she would be, and I can make myself cry just thinking about this.

So my neighbor asked us to keep an eye out. Oh I am, boy howdy. But I have become so worried about that damned cat, it's not okay. Why did she let the cat out? What about the poor cat's mom? Where is the cat? Is she okay? Is she terrified? Is she dead?

I saw a cat in our yard yesterday, and called my neighbor and went outside to try to find it, to no avail. Turns out it wasn't the cat. Turns out this cat she lost is a KITTEN. A little baby kitten. She thinks the kitten is under our building, and won't come out. So now I'm even more worried - especially since it was super cold last night. Is the kitten starving? is she going to freeze to death? And why does that other cat keep coming by here and yowling? is the kitten in heat? This makes me too worried.

Then there is the damned coyote. Have you seen that on the news? some coyote ran into a quiznos and went and sat in the cooler because he hurt his paw. It is the damned cutest little coyote I've ever seen. He has such a pretty little sad face. I love him so much. But then, they show the animal control guy dragging him out of there, and the puppy is terrified and struggling, and he looks like he is in pain, and there is so much dragging and struggling. I watched part of this yesterday, and had to turn it off to sob. I felt like I just had too deep of empathy with that poor beautiful coyote. He was released into a wildlife preserve today, thank goodness. I love that puppy though. I hated seeing him get hurt, and I hate that man who did that to him. I want to cause him pain.


At 8:21 AM, Blogger Ianqui said...

I have to admit, that thing about the coyote was so intriguing that I looked it up, and how odd! It was so funny to see him sitting in that drink cooler. I'm glad they released him, but I hope he can live without his mother.

At 12:04 PM, Anonymous wolfa said...

Wow, someone else who is totally paranoid about their cats dying in some freak accident. I worry about her being stuck in my place if there were a fire and she couldn't escape. I really hate leaving my cat alone. I am utterly neurotic.

If the kitten is old enough to be adopted, it's also old enough that it would be living on its own, so it's unlikely to freeze to death.


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