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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Our lives could not be more different

I talked to my mom this afternoon, and she got really offended because she thought I wasn't listening to her. I mostly was, but my upstairs neighbor was making a lot of noise, which made it hard to hear. And, admittedly, I wasn't super interested.

She was talking about a trip she is taking next month - a very long cruise to eastern europe and scandanavia. She was going on and on about all of the places they are going, etc.

Afterwards, I realized that she was accusing me of not being attentive and supportive - and yet here I am in horrible financial shape and having a really rough time of things, and she is going on and on about an extremely expensive and luxurious vacation?

It's this way every time - I ask her about her life and listen to her, and she never asks anything, never listens, never offers support or help or anything. I tried to just tell her about my trip to teh zoo this week - a positive event - I wasn't whining or talking about anything depressing - and she changed the subject on me! She does this every single time I talk.

Right after I got kicked out of grad school, she and I were talking ont he phone and she asked, "So what's wonderful and exciting and fulfilling in your life?" WTF?


At 7:49 PM, Blogger StyleyGeek said...

Next time your mother calls at the same time my mother calls me, we need to figure out some way to connect the lines so that they can chat to each other. They have so much in common. (Besides, neither of them ever listen, so they'll never know they've been connected to different people). Then we can talk over a different line and have much more fun.

At 9:03 PM, Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

Your mum sounds like my mother-in-law -- if you aren't somehow useful to her, you are off her radar.

They say that a person never stops being a mother and I often think that some maternal parents never start being mothers and others actually DO stop. Perhaps yours has simply stopped in favor of being a bit selfish?

At 10:41 PM, Blogger Seeking Solace said...

Good grief, I think we may be related. My mom does the exact same kind of crap!!!

At 4:34 PM, Blogger k8 said...

With me it's the older sister. Last winter break I babysat her kids about 50 hours (unpaid), including a couple of lunches out. Then, I get to hear about her new raise, holiday bonus, etc. All the while, I'm living on a teaching assistant's salary. I don't mind watching the kids - it's fun - but, as a friend of mine once noted, she isn't the most reflective person in the world.

Sometimes people just don't think beyond themselves. Sigh! Too many solipistic types out there.


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