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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Talking out of both sides of my mouth

As much as I complained about teaching, it was remarkably effective at buffering me against depression. It was annoying as hell - but it kept me getting up each morning (early even), it gave me something to do, it kept me working towards something, it provided income, it created adrenaline rushes (from the actual lecturing) that gave me energy, it forced me to work - which made me want to do more work, and it made me feel somewhat successful (likely just by virtue of having work).

But, I received my last paycheck a week and a half ago, and turned in my grades yesterday (grades were actually done a full week ago - but I needed stuff from my department before I could turn them in). So, I'm done. And this editing work I'm doing just isn't filling the gap - it's annoying, it's unpredictable (I worked last on saturday, and haven't heard anything), and once again I am wondering when I will get paid (I think I figured it out - and it's not till next wednesday).

I think it was on friday that I started to really feel depressed again. I mean really depressed - like weeping over nothing and feeling hopeless and aimless. I've managed to do some things, like submit the article that had been rejected to another journal, apply for a couple of jobs ... well, I guess that's all I've done.

So I guess not teaching is worse than teaching.

some random bullets on underemployment:

  • The job I got rejected from a couple of weeks ago was at a very small agency that had recently lost 1/2 of its staff. The director hired new people, and I just saw that one of those positions is open again. It was posted maybe 3 months ago! Yikes. No, I'm not glad I didn't get hired - but it's not a good sign nonetheless.
  • Some contacts from the interview process for my dream job have altered me that they have some openings. I emailed a couple people at my contacts' suggestions. I was asked to send my resume, which I did. And now I am waiting. I really hope it works out -- but this silence is making me anxious.
  • I think if I don't hear anything, I will have to call - which makes me want to hurl.
  • Why is it that if a woman has a demanding or time-intensive job, she needs a "supportive and helpful" husband - but a man with a similar job just has a wife?
  • Does anyone have any experience basically coercing an employer to hire you? I just want to call up the person in the second bullet and beg them to at least interview me -- *I* know I'd be a good employee for them - but how do I convince them of that?


At 2:33 PM, Blogger Anastasia said...

it's because a wife is expected to be supportive and helpful. a husband isn't. so...if he happens to be, he gets a medal.

At 3:24 PM, Blogger dr four eyes said...

Re coercing employers to hire you: maybe you could write them a song (a la Flight of the Conchords) about why you would be such a fantabulous employee? ;)


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