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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Bitch stole my boyfriend

I realize that likely I am the only one who gets some amusement out of my feud or "feud" with my upstairs neighbor and his girlfriend - and thus my continuing to harp on it is likely pretty boring. But, anything that keeps me from sitting here and worrying worrying worrying about dream job still not contacting me, and catastrophizing about that is, in my view, a good thing.

So, the other day I came home to find "the bitch" (aka the girlfriend of the man who used to be called "beautiful nrrdboy" but has now been downgraded to "upstairs neighbor" - I'm sure he feels suitably depressed over this demotion) on our front sidewalk. I wasn't completely sure it was her because I've never seen her from the front, or up close. I said "Hi" to her, and she barely responded, but just stared at me.

I walked up our front stairs and was checking my mail when upstairs neighbor came out the front door and greeted me rather warmly (twist the knife why dontcha!), but then didn't chat with me (as he always does otherwise), and just went over to the bitch and was talking to her.

Her name has not been added to his mailbox, so she's apparently not moved in yet - but she has been there all week, to my chagrin. She annoys me not just because she stole my boyfriend or "boyfriend," but also because she insists on wearing hard soled shoes inside his apartment almost all the time. This is both annoying and not allowed by our lease (we have gorgeous hardwood floors - so we are not supposed to wear shoes that might damage them - and also, it is super noisy!).

She also scared the bejeezus out of stinkerbelle and me the other day by slamming my back door shut over and over in an attempt to close it all the way (which it doesn't - it's a second door - a partly screen door). I found that to be super rude as it is MY back door to MY porch - thus I should be able to leave it any damned way I want. It in no way impedes anyone's ability to walk up and down the back stairs.

And to top it all off, she is really cute and looks super athletic. Probably has a job too. Bitch.


At 5:20 PM, Blogger dr four eyes said...

Oh, I love your feud/"feud"! I am prone to such things myself.

For a long while in graduate school, I had both a pretend boyfriend (a friendly barista who did not have the faintest idea that he and I dated for a while, but eventually split amicably and remained friends) and a pseudo-boyfriend (an actual, real-life friend with whom I spent much time, very relationship-like, but never any romantic involvement).

Anyway, my guess would be that the upstairs neighbor *is* upset about the demotion which is probably why he put up a good front when he saw you outside but could not bring himself to sustain the cheery demeanor for as long as it would have taken to engage you in conversation.

And the door slamming is super rude! But what can you expect from a boyfriend-stealing bitch?

At 6:51 PM, Blogger AAYOR said...

Does your lease really specify the kinds of shoes that you are(n't) permitted to wear in your apartment??

I've never heard of this!

At 7:12 PM, Blogger Anastasia said...

ooh, no, i'm super amused by this saga.

At 9:24 PM, Blogger Ursa said...

Hate the bitch!
Love the feud!

At 1:56 AM, Blogger Clio Bluestocking said...

She is a total bitch.

You can't stop writing about this and leave your audience wondering how it all turns out!

At 11:33 AM, Blogger Claire said...

Wait, she has a job??!! And I bet she actually enjoys it too. Her wearing of hard-soled shoes is just further evidence of her bitchiness and sense of entitlement. What is Nrrd Boy thinking?


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