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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Does this ever happen to anyone else?

Or am I weird.

These are not mutually exclusive.

On friday, I became absolutely convinced that I smelled bad. I became self-conscious and worried. Every time I got close to someone, or someone came into my office, I worried they knew I was stinky. All day I worried and worried.

The reason for the stinkiness is, I convinced myself, that I have been using a homemade salt scrub in the mornings instead of soap. It is so cold and dry here, using a salt scrub helps keep moisturized (it's basically salt and vitamin e oil with some scent). I convinced myself on friday that because I haven't been using soap, I was getting filthy and thus stinky.

I think this is partly a manifestation of some extreme anxiety - I've been laid off. I learned this when I returned from helping my mom move home after my grandpa died. I thought there was a chance I wold be moved into another job, but that will not occur. Then the day after thanksgiving weekend, I got an email telling me my last day was december 31.

I should write more about this because I'm so distressed I'm immobilized. And clearly think I stink not just body odorwise, but otherwise. I guess it's easier to worry about stinking vis a vis one's smell than about about one's skills and prospects.


At 1:29 PM, Blogger Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been laid off -- this is a hard time to be out of work.

At 1:38 PM, Blogger BrightStar (B*) said...

Yes, I have worried about whether or not I stink, physically. I hadn't thought about whether this is connected to my fear of whether I stink in other ways... hmm...

I am so sorry to hear about the work stress. :(

At 3:59 PM, Blogger ~profgrrrrl~ said...

Sorry to hear about the layoff. I hope something bright is around the next corner for you.

And I, too, have worried about stink before (at least in the literal odor sense). Especially while pregnant because I smell EVERYTHING.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger post-doc said...

I've never connected it, but the instances where I have been worried about smelling bad have been associated with very stressful days otherwise. Interesting.

I'm also sorry to hear about the layoff. Unfortunately, that's not so uncommon right now but I do hope you find something new very quickly.

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Anastasia said...

yes...and I have made that connection, too. I've even discussed it with a friend, who has the same worry, particularly when she's had a bad teaching day. so you're not alone, even if you are weird. :)

I'm sorry to hear about your layoff. That's lousy.


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