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"...another reason I'm intrigued with the hanged of Salem, especially the women, is that a number of them aroused suspicion in the first place because they were financially independent, or sharp-tongued, or kept to themselves. In other words, they were killed off for the same sort of life I live right now but with longer skirts and fewer cable channels." Sarah Vowell, The partly cloudy patriot.


Reining in enthusiasm

I have an issue with reining in my intellectual enthusiasm. This was an issue for me in grad school, and is likely part of why my dissertation proposal was rejected. I get too excited and interested in things and make my projects too huge - too unfocused, and it confuses people (and I get annoyed when people express confusion, because to me it all makes sense).

And I'm running into this again in my new job, and it kind of makes me want to give up because I don't want to have to hear the critical feedback about it.

I'm creating a grant proposal for a program we want to get started. There is the main piece and then a teeny tiny little adjunct piece. That latter really excites me so I put a lot of attention on it in the draft of the proposal letter. But it diffuses things, and it confused the grants people I met with (to get their help in finding grants - gotta say, so far I'm disappointed in their level of help).

When they said that, I got overwhelmed with a sense of incompetence and all those feelings from grad school .... not being focused, questioning my ability, my intelligence, etc.

Do any of you struggle with this? I need to delete a full page from my letter. Maybe I should adopt an adage like choosing accessories - look in the mirror and remove one. Maybe I should remove one idea from the proposal.


At 9:36 AM, Blogger Psycgirl said...

This happens to me all of the time :( Is it possible for you to not emphasize it so much in the grant application, but still be able to do the project if it gets funded?

At 9:36 AM, Blogger Psycgirl said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

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